Ya know what

I just realised? So far this year I have posted once in January (the first month), twice in February (do you see the pattern yet?) and three times in March (March is when the little hand points at the three and the big hand points to the twelve). Isn’t that weird? Spooky, almost.

It’s as if the hand of some unseen omnipotent force has been guiding me to post in accordance with some form of sacred geometry. Which, to be honest, is something I always kind of expected would happen to me. Like that time I kept having dreams that Carol Channing was my birth mother and then it turned out she was. Except it wasn’t the Tony-award-winning Carol Channing but the one-I-grew-up-thinking-was-a-my-sister-like-Jack-Nicholson-did-Carol-Channing. (I wonder if this counts as a digression yet?) Anyhow... my points, and they are multiple, are these:

1. God has clearly taken a personal interest in my blog and may have even anointed it as the one true blog of god and it is with this divine mandate that I must continue to blog forth, spewing his celestially sanctioned word onto the World Wide Web like so much um, spew. (Ed’s note: I had a divine man date once. His name was Julio and he certainly did. Ding).

2. Now I’m gonna have to post four times this month which sucks because, as you may have very recently become aware, I don’t have a damn thing to say.

Oh, the agony of the prophet.